Hey, friend!! In the midst of wedding planning and making sure your big day is all you’ve ever dreamed of? It’s such a fun time and yet all at once it can get really overwhelming. I’ve totally been there and I feel you. More than that, I see bride after bride going through wedding planning and get to help her with her photography. Hearing about the rest of planning there’s usually few things that just seem to get to brides. Whether its the food, the flowers, the music, etc.
What seems to get them even more is if their groom-to-be just doesn’t seem interested or helpful in planning. As a girl, especially as a bride, it’s so hard to understand why they just don’t seem to care like we do. While that might be true most grooms really do care, but not so much about the wedding, they’re more about caring for their bride and how you feel.
That’s right! Most grooms will do whatever they need to to bless and show you all the love they can. They want your day to be a success for your sake. So how can you get them involved and help them know they’re making you happy? Here’s a few tried & true tips to help you out.
Accept the Truth
Yes, your groom probably won’t care about flowers or bridesmaids dresses, but that’s a good thing. That means you can have most of it your way, which is awesome! You’ll probably have more ideas than he does anyways for making the day a good blend of the two of your personalities.
Accept that from the beginning and know that if he does care he’ll say something. Don’t beat yourself up over the fact he didn’t jump for joy when you found the perfect invitations. Have grace and trust the fact that he cares in a different way.
Pick a Few Small Tasks
There is no need to bring your groom in on every decision if you align on the big things (budget, date, etc). Give him small tasks he’ll care about like picking the DJ/band, the caterer or his groom’s cake. Bring him into things he will care about and that you don’t have tons of time for. This will help both you making him feel involved and taking a few select things off your plate.
Make it Theirs
Let him have those small tasks and then really let him do it. If he wants a crazy groom’s cake or has a specific vision for the DJ why not let him have it? Our philosophy is if you get to make 90-95% of the wedding day what you envision it, why not let him have the extra 5-10%?? Will it really matter if his groom’s cake is dorky, or if he wants an exit with his favorite team’s shakers? No. In fact, it will make him love your wedding day even more because he got to make it his own. Those will be the details he remembers & loves most!
Encourage him to think outside the box too. Maybe involving him will be more like planning a signature drink, thinking of a fun favor, or having a cigar break with his guys during the day. It doesn’t have to just be the traditional things he can help with!
Let’s face it, guys can’t read our minds. If you have an expectation for your wedding he won’t know it until you tell him. Be honest that you want him involved and tell him why it is important to you. That last part is important, if he knows the real reason why he is doing something it can help him understand why its so important to you.
Encourage him to feel free to communicate too. Tell him it’s okay for him to give an opinion if he has one, to help when he wants, and to tell you when something is stressing him. Ask him to tell you what he cares most about and what is a priority to him. Knowing he has the ability to be real & honest with you can make a huge difference.
In the end, don’t stress if he does or doesn’t want to be involved. Ultimately, what matters most is your marriage. If you can remember that and focus more on your relationship everything else will come together. As long as your groom shows lots of interest in that, you’re 100% okay 🙂
Katie & Alec
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