In today’s society where social media and posting the best of our lives is the norm it can be difficult to set realistic expectations for your marriage. It can be easy to fall into the pit of thinking your life and your marriage will never to live up to what “everyone’s” marriage looks like. It can steal your joy when you compare your real everyday relationship to someone’s best-of-the-best days. I fall into this all the time and it has caused extra stress and fights that Alec and I never needed to have!
The other day I was reading one of my favorite photographer’s blogs, Katelyn James! She’s incredible at what she does and on top of it she teaches on so many things all while sharing joy and hope through her blog. She was sharing about how her and her husband have moved into an apartment recently and how they can’t let arguments escalate because they’ve got neighbors who can hear them now. With this simple statement I instantly felt a rush of relief wash over me because this person I have been following for so long and seen all her highlights, the best of her work and life and marriage, she has marital fights too! Realizing that Alec and I are normal in the fact that we can have a “tough discussion” or fight every so often (or more often than we would like to admit) brought a sense of peace I didn’t even know I needed.
If you are reading this and you are married, engaged, or in a serious relationship (or heck, even if you’re single and living with a roommate!) you aren’t alone if you fight or go through rough patches! People in real relationships fight because we’re humans with sinful inclinations, real emotions, and a lot of flaws! In fact, if you learn how to manage your anger and emotions and how to communicate effectively then fighting can be a really healthy tool in your marriage.
Counseling, reading Christian marriage books, or seeking wise counsel can help you to grow in your communication skills and help you to use every little opportunity to grow your marriage into something even more beautiful! So, if you find yourself relating to these feelings of relief as you read please know that you aren’t alone, you aren’t crazy, and there is so much hope for you and your relationship!
Blessings,
Katie
For more about our life and marriage check out our most recent Life Lately post!
